filters

I would say in arguments with my ex-boyfriend the hardest thing for me to do was interpret the message in our fights. “As I listen to someone else I filter my interpretation of his or her message through my own attitudes, assumptions, needs, values, past and present experiences, knowledge, expectations, fears, goals, educational background, and emotional involvment.” GEEZ that’s a lot of filters! No wonder when the other person in an argument tries to get their point across I get overwhelmed! So, hearing another person really involves ditching the preconceived notions we have of that person, and actually give them a chance. The counselor tells me I need to breathe and remove myself from the situation when I’m in an argument, however let’s be honest, our ego and emotion really don’t allow us to just leave! Ideally I would remove my past experiences from my reaction, think logically and try and look at him as a human not some man who just wants to hurt me. Good luck with that one J